SNL Halloween Costume #7: Grumpy Old Man

I'm old and I'm grumpy! In my day we didn't have fancy computers, with blog services to talk to our friends. If we wanted to talk to each other, we'd pick up something called a rotary phone, and we'd dial the people we loved thousands of miles away until our bank accounts emptied and our fingers bled! And we liked it, we loved it! Because that's the way it was....I think that Dana Carvey was the most talented and versatile actor to come through Saturday Night Live, and I was amazed that his career post-SNL didn't blossom. Of course, my friends and I often acted like Grumpy Old Man, either making up our own schticks or reciting the favorite rabbit skin one. The sad and scary thing is that I'm sure my friends and I now are sometimes acting like the Grumpy Old Man without even realizing it! This costume is easy with a gray cardigan sweater, a reddish plaid shirt, a light gray wig, and some glasses. Oh, and you need that angry voice.

SNL Halloween Costume #8: The Thinker...Or The Stinker

Are you brave, self confident, and cheap? Will Ferrell did a skit that I laugh to every time I see it. He was Terrence Maddox, a homeless Vietnam Vet who posed nude for an art class to make a little extra money. All you need is a blue robe and slippers, a beard and wig, a canvas army green backpack (optional), and the guts to be naked underneath, at least. You don't need hepatitis or one testicle like him, but you do need to be crude, mentally unstable, and act a little high. Assuming you'll be acting.

SNL Halloween Costume #9: Daaaa Bears

One of the more fun SNL skits for me as a kid was Bill Swerski's Super Fans Show, better known as "Da Bears". This was when a bunch'a guys would sit around a table, drink beer, smoke cigars and eat, and talk about sports and heart attacks. These guys were Chicago fanatics, and more specifically, in love with Mike Ditka. Ditka could do no wrong. My all time favorite segment was when Chris Farley (in my opinion the funniest man to ever live) was choking on a pork steak yelling "I'm noking, I'm noking!", and with some help from his friends, coughed it up. The point of this is that if you're with a group of friends and going to a Halloween party but don't know what to wear, then this is it. You just dress up in Chicago sports clothing, hats, 80's sunglasses, and fake mustaches, build up a halfway decent Chicago accent, and talk about the greatness of Ditka or Jordan, or Bob Probert for that matter. Just don't mention the Cubs--these guys never did.