Tennis Anyone?

Two of the greatest tennis players in history wore this style. Maybe they'll say that about you and this pair one day. Yeah, they're a little dirty, but so was John McEnroe's mouth and he became champ.
(Update: Sold on ebay on 5-28-11 to the future Tennis Champion of the Entire World.)

Is It the Shoes?

I am a bicyclist. That is, I ride a bicycle. I am not a cyclist. Cyclists are people who take riding seriously. I've never heard anyone say proudly, "I'm a unicyclist, or a tricyclist, or a bicyclist". I only ride occasionally. I don't know how to repair, or even maintain my bicycle. I don't know street rules, etiquette, or even laws. I have visions of my front wheel coming off as I coast down a big hill. I'm apprehensive at sharp turns. I'm tempted to put baseball cards in my spokes. I used to use a bell, but gave it to my daughter. I have a blinking front headlight, a blinking rear light, and a mirror attached to my Walmart helmet. I want a basket, or side saddle bags, or a trailer, or would even consider a milk crate with bungee cords. I stupidly don't have bright colored spandex, but instead wear regular shorts and a tee shirt. And I wear tennis shoes. Not cycling shoes. Tennis shoes. I found a pair of vintage 1984 Detto Pietro black leather cycling shoes, and I so wanted to become a cyclist with those beauties. But that's like putting Larry the Cable Guy into a tutu and expecting him to show off some ballerina moves. Like Michael Jordan said to Mars Blackmon, "It's not the shoes."  (Update: Sold on ebay on 5-25-11...To a real cyclist)

Because Swimming Drunk Makes Sense

How did the Budweiser swimsuit in the 1980's became an iconic image, at least for me and every man my age? Maybe it wasn't drunk swimming now that I think about it. Maybe it was simply the idea of beer coupled with beautiful women in swimsuits that attracted male infatuation across the world. Frogs and Clydesdales and "Whassup" were fine and all in their moment of glory, but Bo Derek is to "10" what the Budweiser swimsuit is to Budweiser advertising. Women in Budweiser swimsuits continue to pop up in Anheuser Busch's advertising often--lizards do not. So when I was in a thrift shop and saw one of those rare diamonds on a rack, something in my brain clicked immediately, taking me back to about the age of 10 when I had visually experienced one for the first time. At $5 this one-piece was a steal, and even more exciting was the miniscule chance I could get my beautiful wife to wear it. I won't tell you what she said when I offered it to her on one knee with sparkles in my teary eyes. Unfortunately, the 10 year old boy in me will never get to live a real life moment with that suit, and maybe no man who's as old as me will. Maybe. Gentlemen, we can try. I must let it go on ebay. Maybe there's a miniscule chance for you too, but maybe that's all you need.
(Update: Suit sold on ebay on May 22nd, 2011. Good luck my friend!)