SNL Halloween Costume #3: Phillip and Grace

One of the cutest SNL skits ever, Mike Meyers as Phillip went from loving Grace (Nicole Kidman), to dropping her, to calling her the devil. It will be devastating to me if I never get my wife to become this duo at a future party. All you need is similar kid's clothes, a doll, helmet, harness, and some plastic interlocking jungle gym thing (or make your own out of painted gift wrapping paper tubes). And don't forget the voice inflection and smeared chocolate Hershey candy bar on your face!

SNL Halloween Costume #4: Mr. Peepers

This little monkey freaked me out a little when I saw him back when, so imagine what you'll be able to do to people at a Halloween party. I think a pair of second-hand red jogging pants would work best. Cut them into shorts and use the legs to make strips to attach for the suspenders. Dark hair, fake eyebrows, fake ears, a bushel of apples, and an uncanny ability to hump people and you'll be set. The only really bad thing is that late October can be uncomfortably cold. But if you play Mr. Peepers true to form, you'll be very active, and active equals hot, in a weird little monkey kind of way.

SNL Halloween Costume #5: To Bill Brasky!

When I can get a small group of friends to go to a Halloween party with me (yeah, I only have like one), I vow to go as one of those guys that worships Bill Brasky. You know, Bill Brasky, the guy who eats his children if he's hungry enough. When I am fortunate to do this, I will not be able to drink large glasses of scotch on the rocks--I'm to wimpy. Instead, I'll have large glasses of beer. People won't know who I am anyway, so it won't matter.

SNL Halloween Costume #6: Just Like Old Times

These skits with Tom Hanks and Jon Lovitz were favorites of my friends and mine because we could relate with these two guys. They were like us in that they couldn't get the ladies, yet we envied them because at least they had the guts to try. An episode where they are trying to pick up old women on a cruise ship is tops! Now this costume is obviously easy--you wear slacks, a sweater, a button-down shirt, a necktie, and a golfer jacket, and your hair should be darker and poofed. But the kicker is that you must have a friend to go to a Halloween party with, and you have to hit on all of the girls who walk by. Work in kind of a slow up and down talk and use all of their funny phrases. Or invent some phrases for the holiday, like "She looked at me like she saw a ghost" or whatever. The downside is that you'll have to stand by your buddy all night, but the upside is that the ladies will be so attracted to your vulnerability you may not have to stand by your buddy all night.

SNL Halloween Costume #7: Grumpy Old Man

I'm old and I'm grumpy! In my day we didn't have fancy computers, with blog services to talk to our friends. If we wanted to talk to each other, we'd pick up something called a rotary phone, and we'd dial the people we loved thousands of miles away until our bank accounts emptied and our fingers bled! And we liked it, we loved it! Because that's the way it was....I think that Dana Carvey was the most talented and versatile actor to come through Saturday Night Live, and I was amazed that his career post-SNL didn't blossom. Of course, my friends and I often acted like Grumpy Old Man, either making up our own schticks or reciting the favorite rabbit skin one. The sad and scary thing is that I'm sure my friends and I now are sometimes acting like the Grumpy Old Man without even realizing it! This costume is easy with a gray cardigan sweater, a reddish plaid shirt, a light gray wig, and some glasses. Oh, and you need that angry voice.